Defendant Appears in Virtual Michigan Courtroom With a Delightfully Inappropriate Screen Name [NSFW VIDEO]

You probably want to be on your best behavior when appearing in court, right? It's safe to assume that you'd place a high priority on putting your best foot forward, no? And thanks to COVID, this also applies to virtual courtrooms, amirite?

A defendant in a virtual Michigan courtroom didn't play by the rules and his over-the-top screen name didn't win him any favor with St. Joseph County District Court Judge Jeffrey Middleton.

The unedited video is below. You may want to turn the volume down if you're at work or the kids are nearby.

"Your name's not B***F***er 3,000, you yo ho," the judge says. "What kind of idiot logs into court like that?"

The man who had just joined the Zoom meeting looked genuinely surprised by the judge's query. Maybe he'd meant for his screen name to actually be B***F***er 2,000? Or more likely he was using a Zoom account previously used by one of his classy friends or relatives.

The defendant, whose name is actually Nathaniel Saxton, claimed ignorance.

"I don't believe I typed anything like that in," Saxton told the judge.

St. Joseph County seems to be rife with dunderheads, as Judge Middleton's virtual courtroom is where a defendant appeared earlier this year from the home of the victim he had allegedly assaulted. Middleton became suspicious when the victim seemed to be hesitant to answer questions about her attacker.

But wait, there's more.

Just days later, a man appeared before Middleton on charges of driving on a suspended license. He attended the virtual meeting from the comfort of the driver's seat of a vehicle.

Thank you, Judge Middleton, for at least attempting to fix stupid.

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