I mean, are they really sure that it's not a candy bar? Like, REALLY sure??

Don't lie, you're thinking of the EXACT SAME THING.

DON'T TOUCH IT!

A Macomb Township community pool has had to close to the public last week because somebody is consistently, purposefully pooping in it.

The statement released on their website says:

Regarding the recent pool closures…  Someone has been defecating in the pool.  Due to the frequency over the past week, we believe this is intentional.  At the present time, we are reviewing attendance logs and recorded video.  Rest assured that we are following published guidelines to restore the pool to a safe and sanitary condition.

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They HAD to use the word "logs," didn't they.

Poop is funny...until the pool has to close and cancel a carnival, so it's not funny anymore.  Next time, if you wanna be a comedian, toss a Baby Ruth in there instead of copping a squat.