Inspired by Ozzie Guillen, Flint Mayor Dayne Walling Speaks His Mind

Although known for his circumspection, Flint Mayor Dayne Walling was unusually candid in recent fake comments to yours truly:

“Ever since the State takeover here in Flint, by Snyder’s ‘emergency manager,’ I’ve been fighting this gnawing feeling, ‘Why bother?’  ‘Why keep playing ball?’

I fought it.  And then I heard my hero, Ozzie Guillen, (who coached the only team in the American League Central that’s worth a damn—let’s face it, the Tigers are PRETENDERS; someone should hide Leyland’s oxygen tank)  speak his mind, and you know what it did?  It set me free.

Let’s face it; Flint is not going to move forward so long as it’s infested by those Mott Foundation goons.  Everyone thinks the Mott Foundation is SO great, ‘they give money to all sorts of public causes…”  Give me a break!  The Mott Foundation is run by Fascists!  Did you know that?  Oh yeah…everybody looks the other way, cause they throw money around everywhere.”

At this point, the Mayor paused reflectively and added:

“…the only group who may have had a more devastating impact on Flint is the UAW…”

At this point I left the Mayor to his 48 oz Marguerita and sombrero, and rushed this to press…

Your humble correspondent,

Dr. Psarcasm

“Remember, the ‘P’ is NOT silent.  Seriously.”

(Dr. Psarcasm is not a real Doctor.  Nor is Dr. Psarcasm a journalist.  Unless journalists make up fake quotes for fake news stories.  Then he is.  This fake news story is for entertainment purposes only.)