Dear Dr Psarcasm,

I’m a new mother and I’m scared to have my baby vaccinated.  I’ve heard so many stories about the dangers of vaccinations that I’m just not sure it’s safe.  Should I have my baby vaccinated?

Laura, Mt Morris

 

Dear Laura,

In a word: absolutely not.  Vaccines are for lemmings.  And I don’t mean the furry little rodents (as far as I know there are no lemming vaccines on the market).   What I mean is, lemmings just plow right off the cliff, one after the other, heedless of the danger, much as we deliver our precious babies to the pharmaceutical-industrial complex for pin cushion duty.  If babies were meant to be vaccinated mothers would have needles for nipples.

The only thing your baby needs to thrive and be healthy is the ambrosia that comes from your own bosom.  (Please TELL me you’re going to breast feed!)  The pharmaceutical-industrial complex can’t make you stick needles in your baby.  Don’t be a lemming!

Cherish this blessed time,

 

Dr. Psarcasm

“Remember, the ‘P’ is NOT silent.  Seriously.”

 

(Dr. Psarcasm is not a real Doctor.  Dr. Psarcasm cannot be held liable for any outcome associated with following his “advice;” all advice is meant for entertainment purposes only.  Please send your questions to Dr Psarcasm, care of Dan Foley: dan.foley@townsquaremedia.com.)