A new poll shows that presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is viewed less favorably than, among other universally detested things, Nickelback.

The new results are actually blessing in disguise for Trump haters who have vowed to move to the Great White North should the orange menace be elected president. Nickelback are Canada's Led Zeppelin, so the newbies will, at bare minimum, have to tolerate the smooth sounds of Chad Kroeger while picking up some Molsons at Sobeys.

According to Public Policy Polling, the latest poll had Trump being rated more favorably than hemorrhoids and cockroaches by a slim margin, but not much else. In the column of things people hate less than "The Donald" are Canadian butt-rock merchants Nickelback, who are apparently 5% more tolerable. So, if I learned anything in algebra II, that means if he could pick Chad Kroger as his running mate -- his approval rate would actually go up. Personal note: that's one of the most upsetting sentences I've ever typed. Algebra and Nickelback? Together?


Trump was also viewed less favorable than used car salesmen (6% margin), traffic jams (7%), hipsters (7%), the DMV (10%), root canals (11%), jury duty (22%), and lice (26%). The poll didn't specify which kind of lice, so we could be talking pubic lice. Crabs, people!

Trump's unfavorable view isn't much of a shock. Whether you support him or not --it's no secret that there is strong dislike for this man out there. The real shockers were buried deeper in the poll and were (mostly) not Trump related. Some of them include:

  • 18% of people polled still believe that vaccines cause autism, and another 29% were "not sure." Not to start a whole thing here, but that argument has been proven to be based on a falsified study. Look it up.
  • 30% believe that President Obama was not born in the U.S.
  • 5% believe that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer (even though the time frame on this one makes no sense -- we get it)
  • 6% believe Ted Cruz's father was involved in JFK's assassination

Take a look around. This is your America... well, at least until you move to Canada, which 18% of people said they would consider doing if Hillary Clinton was elected POTUS. That's only slightly lower than Trump's 25%. I guess no matter how we cut it, we won't be seeing some of you hosers for at least four years. Take care, eh?