86-Year-Old Woman Takes Down Thief With…Bacon?

Bacon -- it's a delicious side dish. And an even better weapon of self-defense.

Britain's Greater Manchester Police posted this fantastic status update about an 86-year-old woman who fended off a would-be robber with bacon. Yeah, it's pretty much the best Facebook status update you'll ever read and a nice contrast to the awful ways one senior was treated here in the States.

This woman is our spirit animal. We know it's too late, but we really think she should've been hired as a bacon critic. Her extensive knowledge of the meat, whether as a culinary delight or a tool to fight crime, would be invaluable.