We won’t know exactly how graphic ‘50 Shades of Grey’ is going to be until we see the film with our own cursed eyeballs, but we now officially know that the film has been given an R-rating by the pearl-clutching members of the MPAA. What does that R-rating stand for? Graphic nudity, “strong sexual content,” and “unusual behavior.” Wait, what the hell is unusual behavior?!

Here’s the MPAA’s full reasoning for giving ‘50 Shades of Grey’ an R-rating:

Strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language.

First things first, the film will include strong sexual content, as some of you (moms, curious teens, your eccentric aunt who fancies herself a boxed wine connoisseur) were hoping. What would an adaptation of E.L. James’ wildly popular BDSM erotica novel be without all that sweet graphic sex? (Oh right, it would just be boring ‘Twilight’ fan fiction.) Not only will the people be engaging in strong sexual content with their graphically nude bodies, but this movie is so damn hot that their dialogue is strongly sexual in nature. They just can’t keep themselves from talking about sex things.

Second of all, it’s “some” unusual behavior. Just some. Not a lot, not a couple of unusual behaviors, but some. Here are some possible unusual behaviors from the film:

  • Christian Grey inviting Anastasia Steele onto his private helicopter without saying “Get to the choppa!” in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.
  • Anastasia seriously considering signing a contract which grants Christian total authority over her sex life.
  • A young woman being this naive about some hot but kind of weird rich dude who wants to keep her as his sex pet.
  • Jamie Dornan’s “bag of grapes.”
  • Or maybe, just maybe, director Sam Taylor-Johnson actually included that crazy tampon scene from the book. (Warning: that link is obviously not safe for life.)

There are so many possibilities, and yet, so little we can know until the film hits theaters.

‘50 Shades of Grey’ stars Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Luke Grimes, and Marcia Gay Harden, and hits theaters (with a fancy leather paddle) on February 13.

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