3-D Glasses Now with Opti-Grab; Two Great Hollywood Ideas

By all accounts, The Avengers is a delightful movie.  Thankfully, it is available in 2-D so I will be able to see it soon.  I refuse to watch movies in 3-D.  I will never watch another movie in 3-D.  Ever.

Far be it from me to cast the first stone. Who hasn’t made a mistake? The problem is that when people in authority make a real clunker and they’ve invested a lot in it, (time, blood, money…)  it’s human nature to resist admitting the mistake.  Ask Chen Guangcheng how the Chinese Government likes it when their one child policy is questioned.

Having forced theatre owners to upgrade to expensive 3-D projectors, having forced so many movie makers to turn their big projects into 3-D, Hollywood is going to admit their mistake?  No.  Well, not yet.  Soon though.  Don’t they focus group?  I didn’t focus group it but I know what would happen if they did.  It's a BIG stinker!  Actually, they probably have tested it.  That would explain why the new 3-D releases also come out in 2-D.  But then they force the theatre owners to take the 3-D version in order to get the 2-D version; saves face for now.

Can you imagine if we treated Guantanamo Bay detainees this way?  Human rights activists would be lodging formal complaints at the U.N.  Defense attorney: “Were you water-boarded?”  Detainee: “No, I had to watch Alice in Wonderland in 3-D.”  Silent shuddering.

In the mean time, I think all 3-D theatre glasses should come with an Opti-Grab.  The dizziness from being cross-eyed might balance out the nausea…