Michigan officials have ignored thousands of people who don't agree with letting Nestle increase their water consumption.

Nestle uses Michigan ground water to fill about 250 gallons per minute of their ice mountain bottled water. Nestle had asked to increase the amount to 400 gallons per minute last year, but the request was originally denied.

Now the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality (that name should sound familiar to all Flint residents) has granted Nestle permission to increase the amount of water they take from Michigan. Nestle will now be able to take 400 gallons per minute of Michigan ground water to bottle and sell around the world. The best part about his whole thing is that they barely pay any fees on the water they take!

More than Ten Thousand Michigan residents took time to voice concerns about the increase to the MDEQ. They brought up a bunch of unimportant things concerning negative environmental effects and other fake news. I mean RELAX PEOPLE!

The MDEQ has this covered! ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY is literally in their name! There's no chance they would knowingly jeopardize the water supply of an area just to save a few bucks. They have an excellent track record of making sure that Michigan and its residents will always have a safe, and ample amount of drinking water. (Please do not google Flint Water Crisis or any of the oil spills in the rivers of West Michigan.) If there's anything that the last five years have shown us, it's that the MDEQ is honest, forthcoming, transparent, and trustworthy.

If you're still feeling uneasy about this whole "water" thing, let me drop some alternative facts on you.

  • There's an unlimited amount of clean drinking water
  • The plastic bottles that this clean water is being put in does not hurt the environment
  • The Q in MDEQ stands for Quality!
  • If the impossible does happen and we run out of water, we'll just make some more!

Wait, we can't make drinking water you say? Well maybe global warming doesn't sound too bad anymore does it?! Melting icebergs have been hogging fresh drinking water for far too long, and it's about time we take what's ours!

Let's pretend for a minute that we can't melt all of the icebergs for more Nestle bottled water, or lasso an icy comet or some other completely real idea.

Suppose that water is a very limited and precious resource that should be protected at all costs.

Just imagine for one second that all life on earth relies on clean, free-flowing water.

NOW GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE IMAGINARY CLOUDS AND TURN ON EVERY FAUCET IN YOUR HOUSE TO FULL BLAST AND LAUGH MANIACALLY!

I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen from all of this?