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‘Dancing with the Stars’ My Mindless Entertainment

Dancing With The Stars
It may not challenge your intelligence, but watching is fun. (courtesy ABC)

So I like “Dancing With The Stars.” So what? It doesn’t mean I’m unintelligent, it doesn’t mean I’m not up on the latest news and political intrigue. It just means that sometimes, I don’t want to have to think too hard.

I get up in the morning and watch CNN and FOX and MSNBC and a bit of local news. I must admit I still miss Bill Harris on WJRT. I talk about news on the radio, I dream about news, so once in awhile — particularly at 8 p.m. Monday on ABC — I turn to a little brainless entertainment.

Tango, foxtrot, Viennese waltz, mambo — my heart races at the very words. The gorgeous men, the shirtless Maks and the perennial almost-ran Tony Dovolani, and the cute young guys, Derek Hough and Mark Ballas (scary, because they could be my … much, much, younger brothers). I imagine myself in their arms. Me, not Ricki Lake or Hope what’s-her-name with the rock-hard abs and lead feet.

The music transports me as I watch and offer pithy commentary like “well, he’s really off the beat now” or “I think she did a lift. Carrie-Ann is going to hate that.”

It’s not rocket science, in fact it’s anti-rocket science which probably isn’t even a real phrase. It’s just fun.

This week one of my long-grown adult twins stopped by the house and caught me in the middle of a Nancy Grace and Tristan moment. “I can’t believe you’re watching this,” he said with a faint hint of disgust. I begged him to take a minute and watch with me. “You’ll be surprised,” I told him. “It’s fun and relaxing.”

When that didn’t work, I went with mom guilt. Reminding him of the zillions of times that I sat with him to watch “Teen-age Mutant Ninja Turtles” and multiple episodes of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” He sat. He watched. I tried to get him interested by pointing out the intricacies of the dance steps and shared the stories of backstage intrigue and whispers of ballroom chicanery.

“Wouldn’t you love to dance like that?” I asked. That did him in. Something important to do, not enough time, “Gotta go, mom. See ya.”

Sometimes brain candy is all you really want. Chocolate for your stomach. “DWTS” for your brain.

Empty calories that leave you feeling satisfied.

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