movie reviews

'A Haunted House 2' did not screen early for critics. On Thursday, I received an email from my editor suggesting that I pay to see 'A Haunted House 2' at a movie theater on Friday morning. I tried using the "but I haven’t seen the first ‘Haunted House'" excuse, but that seemed to have little to no impact on this request. Who knows? Maybe it’s hilarious? On Friday morning, I purchased a t

When I was a young man and the Internet was new, I made the same joke every time I dialed-up and heard those dissonant, scratchy tones. “Chhhhhhh-CHHHHHH-Chhhhhh” my modem would bray, and as soon as there was silence I'd turn to whomever was in the room and conspiratorially say, "all right, we're in." 'Transcendence,' the first feature film directed by Christopher Nolan's longtime cinema

Whereas Tom Hanks' Captain Phillips talked, finessed, sweated and went into shock to rescue his crew, Chris Evans' Captain America jumps onto a hijacked boat from a helicopter without a parachute. His liberation of a S.H.I.E.L.D. vessel captured by international terrorists involves flinging himself across the deck; a human pinball with terrorists as his easily neutralized bumpers. Make that a supe

The story of ‘Dom Hemingway’ is a familiar enough one – a tough-talking safecracker endures years in jail, thanks to keeping a locked jaw when it comes to the involvement of his mastermind boss, only to be let loose to commit one last job and do right by his family – but Richard Shepard’s energetic and entertaining spin on what could be just another genre picture, along with star Jude Law’s bold a

In the Drug Enforcement Administration of 'Sabotage,' there's an elite task force comprised of douchebags, jackasses, bullies and morally reprehensible goons. They're thrown the tough assignments; When a drug cartel kingpin needs to be brought to justice, John Breacher (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and his crew of hot-tempered, maladjusted soldiers storm his suburban fortress, pop two in his head, and b

The story of Noah as it is written in the King James Bible is about three pages. If you want to Google it, read it, then come back to this you can go ahead. I'll wait here as I continue to stream some of Clint Mansell's spooky and enthralling score to the new Darren Aronofsky film starring Russell Crowe. Back? Yeah, so, not a whole heck of a lot there. But did you catch the tiny references to thin

Before anything else: the sex. There is a sex scene in '300: Rise of an Empire' that is an all-timer. Put it right up there on the shelf next to 'Don't Look Now,' 'A History of Violence,' 'Blue is the Warmest Color,' '9 ½ Weeks' and any of the others that make those best-of lists. Actually, put next to that insanity in the pool from 'Showgirls' (you know, with the dolphin statue?), because there's

The opening shot of 'Non-Stop' has Liam Neeson pouring whiskey in a coffee cup and stirring it with a toothbrush. He then reaches out to a photo of a young girl to stroke it with his fingertips. After this the phone rings and the caller ID reads 555. In other words, three of the biggest movie cliches, all in about sixty seconds.

Wes Anderson has finally done it. He's gone and created his own country. Zubrowka, the fictional town at the heart of 'The Grand Budapest Hotel,' is positioned on the farthest Eastern edge of Europe's great empire. It is a melange of stylistic flourishes and decorative signifiers from a make believe 20th Century - a memory of a memory, a fastidious, whimsical take on real horrors - a storybook sam

"Everything is Awesome!" Much has been said about our recent cinema kowtowing to nerds. From the massive success of 'The Avengers' to the ill-fated sci-fi odes of 'Paul.' (Anyone remember 'Paul?') The nerds have won. But whither the spaz? Take a moment to remember the spaz. The hyperactive, highly-excitable enthusiast who can barely stay in one place for longer than sixty seconds and mak