The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
Courtney Lenz, a five year veteran of the Baltimore Ravens cheerleading squad, is claiming the team left her off the trip to the Super Bowl because of her "slight weight gain." Oh deer! Sorry, I meant dear. Force of habit with this squad.
You can't take it with you. Isn't that the expression people always use when they want your stuff after you drop dead? Mr. Allen Swift knew he couldn't take his 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly P1 Roadster with him to the afterlife, but he made sure it was well taken care of after they tossed him into the ground.
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