It’s a monologue, it’s a blog … it’s a monoblog!

Three good jokes and one bad one – you decide which is which.

A California woman gave birth last week to a 14-pound boy. See, that’s how fat we’re getting in this country – now even our newborns need Weight Watchers.

• I feel for the mom, though. Do you realize how big 14 pounds is? That’s the equivalent of squeezing two entire supermodels out through your loins.

• Gas hit $4 a gallon across most of the U.S. this week. President Obama, promising swift action, ordered the Navy to immediately dredge up Osama bin Laden and shoot him again.

• The price of gas is so high, in fact, that economists are beginning to worry about another recession. Or as the Republican presidential contenders call it “Happy Days Are Here Again.”

Think you can do better? Well, then go ahead, bunky. Give it a shot in the comment section below. Crave more Heller? Check out my other blog.